I was a stranger and you invited me in…

Did you know that the first impression guests leave with when visiting a church determines whether they will be back? So what is it that goes into a good first impression?  Researchers Gary L. McIntosh and Charles Arn interviewed a number of people who had recently visited a church for the first time. They were asked what made the biggest impression on them and what effect it had on their decision to return the following week. It was the friendliness of the people.

Regardless of denominational affiliation, attractiveness of the facilities, eloquence of the preacher, breadth of the program, or quality of the music, visitors seem to be most impressed with friendliness.  So how do visitors determine the friendliness of a church? The interviewees’ response was simple, yet insightful. Visitors determine the friendliness of a church by the number of people who talk with them!

That’s it.  Simple but significant!  They were asked one more question:  “When did you conclude that the church you visited was, or was not, a friendly church?” More than any other, the critical time for making a friendly impression is the ten minutes right after the service ends.

Consider the experience as perceived by newcomers. Entering the worship center is experienced as a sort of individual act, since people do it more or less separately. Leaving, however, is a group experience, since it happens together. This can be the loneliest moment of all if everyone else is greeting friends as the visitor walks up the aisle in a pocket of isolated silence.  It’s common for churches to include a time of greeting during the service as we have done from time to time. This is nice but not particularly helpful in terms of welcoming newcomers. Most people simply turn to the persons next to them, smile, shake their hands, say good morning, and then go on.  Some creative churches have moved the greeting time to the last event of the service. That is why after I give the closing benediction, I then encourage people to greet their neighbor. This makes it easier to have a conversation that isn’t abruptly cut short by the next event in the service.

In Christ,

Kurt

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