Each and every week we strive to publish a bulletin which enhances the worship service. However, we occasionally make typographical errors and mistakes. In honor of this effort I wanted to share with you some bulletin bloopers:
1. Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
2. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
3. Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
4. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
5. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”
6. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
7. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
8. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
9. This being Easter Sunday, Mrs. Bertha Lewis will come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
11. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
12. Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
13. Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
14. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
15. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday from 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
16. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
17. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last even-ing. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
18. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
19. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
20. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
22. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side en-trance.
24. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
25. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things you don’t want to keep. Don’t forget your husbands.
In Christ,
Kurt